dissolution

restless legs spite tired eyes.

3am and wide awake with thoughts

like crashing cars.

absence and regret collide inside

this acid stomach,

where all the words i swallowed

dissolve and turn to bile.

now forced past this bitter smile

every lie and love and decomposing line

is flushed away.

too early and too late to be awake.

too cold to be outside.

too old to be alive.

too young to be the bearer of bad tidings.

3.17am - i toss and turn and shake and hope

the nightmares are no worse when i'm asleep.